My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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