toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
