we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
