When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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