kristin has been a bad kristin
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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