Screwed.edu
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
