Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
