Whatcha textin bout Willis?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
