Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
this hospital has no fireball
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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