Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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