Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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