so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
well you can't waste a boner
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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