you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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