i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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