I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
