when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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