i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
