I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think a kid would responsible me up
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
