those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
