pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
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