there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
