brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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