The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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