sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
