every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
