Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
