We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
