plz talk dirty to me
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Who died my cat blue again?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
