So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
