just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
