As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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