She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My ass is underappreciated
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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