He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
