no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
