She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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