Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
