I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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