I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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