Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
