No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
