Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
