Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
