its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
