thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
