Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize