I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We smell like vodka and hangover
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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