Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
