I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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