Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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