Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How external is "for external use only"?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
