Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize