ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
