I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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