Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm having to shit out rocks
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