He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
