At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
