If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
