Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
