i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize