I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
