I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
